To Sir With Love

Attn: The large (presumably judging by the racket

you make stumbling around in the roof above my

head and the by-product you kindly leave on my

car each day) Possum, living rent-free in my

parent’s house.

Sir,

It has come to my attention (usually between the hours of 11pm to 4am each night/day – why can’t you sit still, don’t you have broadband or foxtel? We ARE technically under the same roof you know) that whilst previously relocated several metres to the left (who makes this legislation up? Don’t they think possums will WALK BACK?!), you have opted, disappointingly, at great cost (apparently it cost $$$ to shift someone to the left, to the left) to return to stomping around in the roof where I live.

Firstly, welcome back. Not really. I was just being polite. I don’t remember seeing a basket of muffins anywhere to say ‘Sorry about the noise. Just moving furniture back in. My son peed on your car, I’ll deal with the bill from the detailer. Cheers.’ Nada. How rude.

Secondly, who does your décor? I’m not offering but I have to wonder why the incessant need to rearrange things every night. If it’s a feng shui issue you needn’t fret, have you not seen how many crystals mum has got going on in the backyard? Trust me, between the dream catchers, the wind chimes, the jagged crystals (mind your step, those things are sharp) and pot plants everywhere, you are all set.

Thirdly, waste management. This is a BIG issue for me. And clearly, judging by the potato sized bundles of joy everyday, it’s also a big issue for you. I’m pleased to see you have no issues with maintaining a high fibre diet. I’m not so pleased that I can see just how high in fibre your diet is. When I went camping I was told to dig a hole and bury it. I don’t recall ever hearing at orientation that it was ok to go on the roof of a Volvo. Mother Nature loves your offerings…. My Swedish made Volvo with limited edition (now fading thanks to your son’s acid reflux) does not.

Also, your child’s bedwetting. I really do sympathise. I’m quite certain I did it into my 5th birthday. But if your birthdays are like dog years then surely your three year old (now 21 years old) is just too old. If my dog doesn’t go in his sleep, I don’t see why your son still goes.

If you disagree, well, we are all entitled to our own opinions (as long as they are the same as mine). Two words: adult diapers. Apparently I will be enjoying these too in my dotage as most women apparently find bladder control an issue later down the track., so your son needn’t feel embarrassed. How ironic since I worked so hard on my bladder control all these years.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. Obviously feel free to provide your feedback. I dislike anything perceived as criticism. Especially from people, pardon me, possums, who use cars as porta-potties. Nevertheless this is a democracy, not a cheerocracy as they say in Bring It On. So…. If you have any comments, just submit them in our letter box. The one your son goes number 1 on. And I’ll attempt to give a fark.

Yours Sincerely,

Dommynikki

p.s. stop drinking metho, even my dog thinks your breath reeks

Hello lover!

oh i never thought i would come to this moment when i listed a pair of nike runners over and above my beloved adidas collection.... but i have... and i do.... and i love....LOVE love LOVE these new runners i got over the weekend. i have literally NEVER sprinted that fast before. and lord knows i've been trying.

PT Brenny wants to know can he please have a pair too... Nike Zoom Free Everyday .. i haven't even hooked it up to my ipod touch yet. CAN'T WAIT!

And then there were two..

You probably already guessed, but the Duchess Tianbabes is going to be one of my bridesmaids.

I actually asked Duchess mid week whilst at work.. and had to wait an agonising three hours for a reply email (She is intern-ing at a scene straight out of Devil Wears Prada).

She replied back with the most loving email, and saying that she had already been drafting her bridesmaid's speech. I have never felt so relieved.. we always said we are to be each others' bridesmaids, but geography is such a worry. Especially for someone like me who worries so hard if there are not at least three contingency back up plans for Plan A. Except, Tian being bridesmaid was Plan A and I didn't have a Plan B let alone Plan C for that.

You've met her before, but, the Duchess always changes her hair, at this moment she is sporting the bowl cut which I so envy, but cannot pull off. She is so Audrey Hepburn out of Funny Face in that style. Here she is, pre-bowl cut:

Joy!

Meet my MOH (maid of honour)

Oh spank me if you must for using that cheesy acronym, but this is a Public Service Announcement.

Happy days, I have secured myself my baby-faced Sydney bestie Leanne to be my MOH.

It seemed to be the obvious choice given that barely two weeks into the engagement she was emailing me Bridal Expo information, and so SUPER supportive of the fact that despite not knowing when/where/how I was having a wedding/engagement party, I insisted on spending ALL MY FREE TIME looking for engagement party outfits. Instead of doing uni work. But let's not sweat that minor detail. And no, I have not yet found an outfit, but have instead found several adorable DVF dresses that are HTH (have to have). And the uni work is due this week and remains, undone. Oops, I DIA (did it again).

Oh look, I'm a teenage cheerleader with all the shorthand expressions. Fetch.

But anywho, this is my gorgeous gorgeous MOH. And not that anyone was counting, super photogenic (see photo) and I just adore how sweet she is to me. We talk about anything and everything and bitch about everything else. I love it. Yes she eats so slowly and it drives me insane when I'm on the clock, but any other time of day I LOVE it because we always have so much to talk and bitch about. I have never met someone who spends as much if not more on Victoria's Secret than me. Or someone who can always quote verbatim all current interest rates on every credit card available in Sydney.