Your phone rings, you pick up:
a. Immediately
b. After a few rings and chirrup "HEL-LOOOO!" and maybe giggle
c. Never, no one calls you, and when someone does call, you can’t hear the phone anyway
How would people describe you:
a. bubbly and crazy
b. bubbly and crazy funny
c. crazy and funny
Say "hmmph!" in a sentence:
a. "SOOOOO HMMMPH!"
b. "SOOOOO TOTALLY HMMPH!"
c. only if someone explains to you why you would ever say "hmmph!"
Your friends make you stay out later than you planned:
a. You stay, and then move on to a karaoke party, join a birthday dinner, enroute to a farewell at a bar, go to another karaoke joint, and it all finally ends when you carry an inebriated mate back to your place to crash for what’s left of the morning. All with a smile on your face.
b. You stay... put on the couch of wherever everyone is and snooze until everybody is ready to go home.
c. You stay, but after another hour (tops) you can no longer hold onto your sanity, and you either beg to leave because you are so tired (weeping tears of tiredness) or you bite an innocent friend before demanding to be allowed to leave and pelt another person with chips (weeping with frustration). Regardless of how you exit for the night, tears are involved, either yours, or those of the bite victim.
The next day after a late night out:
a. As soon as you awaken, you call everyone else and do a checkup/headcount. Then you go to lunch with friends, clean the house and do laundry. (You obsessive neatfreak)
b. You run a 20mile marathon and then go indoor rockclimbing and finish the evening off with a kickboxing class. You go home and watch American sitcom series. (You insane Ironwoman thing you)
c. Wake up and check all the misscalls from the mate in charge of headcount, roll off the couch and inspect what jewellery you drunkenly collected during the course of the night. You shower, eat lots of eggs and watch DVDS. You consider doing yoga to improve your temper. (You big jerk)
You find yourself stuck in a conversation with someone you have taken a disliking to. You:
a.sit with them, listening and chatting politely and cheerfully like your usual self. No one will ever know that you found it unbearably tedious, in fact, you didn’t mind talking to the person at all. You rarely dislike anybody. In fact, this will most likely never happen. But if it did, that is what you would do.
b. Sit with them, listening and chatting politely and cheerfully like your usual self. No one will ever know that the entire time you were simultaneously messaging a mate, because you have long ago mastered the art of texting, one handed, with just your thumb, with the hand tied behind your back, whilst blindfolded and drunk.
c. Sit with them, listening and chatting politely and cheerfully like your usual self. In between bursts of nervous laughter (yours) you tread on another person’s foot, your pathetic version of the social SOS. Of course you get busted for doing that.
During drinks, a friend offers you some of his burger. You
a. Reply "No thanks, I’m still on my first glass of champagne. I’m quite full from that."
b. Reply "No thanks, I just came from dinner."
c. You take the burger, pick out the meat pattie before returning the bread to your friend. If he protests you reply "I don’t do carbs but I left you the pickle." You eat his chips as well.
During photos, what do you try to cover up?
a. Your arms
b. One side of your face
c. Stupidly, nothing, but a week later looking back at the photos you realise you should have covered up your bad hair-day
What do you sing when smashed?
a. Mariah Carey
b. You don’t really get drunk anymore, usually you snooze during karaoke
c. You don’t really sing many songs, preferring to tie bows around your head with toilet paper in the toilets
Do you think you’re a drama queen?
a. Maybe sometimes you can be. Usually you’re okay, just sometimes maybe. But yeah, you’re pretty easygoing so probably not. (insert cute laugh)
b. NO! Of course you’re not a drama queen. You’re a Leo. What the hell kind of question is that? What is that supposed to mean? You’re certainly not childish. Or high strung. You dare anybody who thinks you are a drama queen to say it to your face. Say it, Biatch. (insert haughty glare and "hmmph")
c. No, actually you’re a pretty tolerant person. Sure you have your sulky moods, and your philosophical moods but you aren’t the type to kick up a huge stinking fuss. You’re too busy trying to calm your mate to make a scene yourself. When you finally do try to behave like a diva, your mate has already beaten you to it. (insert sigh, "aiyah", and another sigh, followed by cute laugh)
Your favourite accesory is:
a. Silver jewellery: tiffany & co.
b. Mimco style: big beaded necklaces
c. Excessive: Gigantic earrings that are really more appropriate as Christmas tree decorations
Your makeup style is:
a. Smoky eyeshadow
b. Blue, green or purple eyeshadow
c. Whatever you put on, it will slide off your face within two hours
Your food obsession:
a. Congee congee congee
b. Har-ry’s Har-ry’s Har-ry’s
c. You’re quite flexible, whatever anyone else is having... and you’re still on your first glass of champagne anyway
When annoyed:
a. You don’t like it. If you can’t get away soon enough, you will most likely bite the person annoying you or throw chips at them.
b. You’re pretty tolerant, you rarely get annoyed. You’re too busy calming down the person that picks option A.
c. You’re pretty easygoing, you rarely/never get annoyed. The only person that comes close to annoying you would be the one that picks option A. Then again, you’ve never seen that person bite, or throw chips, are they really that bad? You were probably sleeping at the time. Really? Oh, (insert cute laugh). Well, you never saw them in action, so technically you’ve never been annoyed. Cold coffee and badly cooked eggs benedict annoy you more.
Your exercise of choice:
a. Kickboxing, running and power yoga.
b. Gym and dancing in the shower. Sometimes you play tennis. Badly.
c. Gym, but vacuuming is fun too. Sometimes you play tennis. Unless you are having brunch.
You drink:
a. Gin and tonic, WITH A STRAW, IN A SHORT GLASS, and you need a lemon. And beer. LOTS of beer.
b. Champagne. And blue colored drinks. You keep thinking that THIS time, your tongue won't turn blue.
c. You dont usually drink. Except when you do, then you do shots. Like you would not belieeeeeeeve. You get other people to buy you drinks. NICE.
During lunch breaks:
a. You are as likely to exercise, as you are to have lunch with friends.
b. You are as likely to have lunch with friends, as you are to have lunch with other friends.
c. You are as likely to have coffee and buy a magazine, as you are to have coffee and buy clothes.
When it comes to money, you are good at:
a. Saving it.
b. Spending some and saving the rest.
c. Spending some and spending the rest.
Your type of man is:
a. Very cute, almost pretty. But very cute.
b. Very cute, almost pretty. But if the hands are too big, forget it. But very cute. You frequently date or consider dating, and then dump, or consider dumping models. Don’t deny it, there are witnesses.
c. Very cute, but preferably bald (voluntarily). Even better if they are nerdy, angry alot and taller than yourself. And if they wear glasses, your cup runneth over. In fact, they don’t even have to be cute. They must have a pulse though. You frequently consider dating. But you don’t. Instead you play hide and seek. Literally. You’re an idiot and you know it.
When you think/know that your crush is not returning your affection, you:
a. Sigh, still having a crush on them for a while, but oh well, you tell yourself. You’re quite the philosopher, you are...
b. Sigh, sulk and time how long it has been since the last time they called, emailed, texted. And sulk and fret until they call, email and text. After the call, email or text, you fret some more. You analyse the whole exchange, comparing content and time to the last call, email and text. Your drama queen friend could not do it better...
c. Sigh, sulk, fret and in a storm of tears and temper rage on about why the idiot isn’t interested, are you not hot enough, and WTF????! You check the mirror for signs of ugliness. You constantly ask male friends their opinion. You sigh, sulk and fret some more. You decide to move on. Five minutes after the decision your friends find you in a storm of tears and temper, raging on about why the idiot isn’t interested, are you not hot enough, and WTF?????! You sigh, sulk and fret some more. You don’t think you’re a drama queen though.
You are married. To a:
a. Handsome, tall, kind eurasian man. But he has two other wives and several girlfriends. You are currently going through a divorce. You handle it well. You’re the philosophical type.
b. Handsome, tall, kind eurasian man. But he has two other wives and several girlfriends. You are currently going through a divorce. You are best friends with his other wife. She is a great comfort to you during the divorce. She’s the philosophical type.
c. Three gay men. You are Bridget Jones goes to San Francisco.
When you have children:
a. They will have beautiful eyes, just like you.
b. They will have great legs, (sorry option A also gets great legs), and be sweet tempered, just like you.
c. They will be neurotic beyond belief, and sound like a chipmunk on the phone, just like you. It is probably a good thing that you are married to three gay men. Especially with that fetish for bald short sighted men.
