Ode to Bridezilla

O Bride-to-be

I think you're crazy.

I feel bad for your fiance. It's not enough that he bankrupted himself.

To buy you a piece of Carbon12, you made him sit through 2 hours worth.

Of bridal fashion. At the bridal expo.

Wander through a maze of pamphlets, brochures, business cards.

Teeth-whitening, lipo-sculpting, cake stands, flower arrangements.

Catering, make up artistry.

And you brought your mother and all your sisters.

Every woman he ever met, queued up in front of him whilst he gets weighted down.

Asking your permission to go to the bathroom.

Whilst you discuss all these details you already knew about were going to take place.

Not just once, but seven times.

And once more in Melbourne and Brisbane.

If he goes missing, he will be at the bar with.

Me and B.

Drinking my horror and B's amusement away.

Whilst you enjoy your special slimming tea.

Saturday mornings with Colbie

Despite my best efforts to get some sunshine, the universe is determined to make me stay indoors to study with rain, cold weather, and cloudy skies.

HAH.

I spent all morning searching for new music (and new dresses), and came across this one:



Whilst I cannot always admit to being a cheesy corny romantic, this one is just put in your pockets adorable. The video is a complete cringe-fest but cute in that 'we tried to be laid back, but actually we killed ourselves trying to make this' way but I totally adore the boho/hippie vibe to it.

Anywho, now that I have a new addition to my playlist, I shall actually get down to some study.

The land of the free (and easy)

Today is a public holiday - what is it this time, you ask? Since you asked, it's Australia Day.

Don't you have another public holiday coming up soon? Yes, that would be the Queen's Birthday.

I love this town. Hah.

Although, technically I should be putting my time to good use by madly finishing (ok, starting) off the following:

1 x presentation for Ethics tomorrow

1 x reflective journal 1500 words minimum for Ethics thursday

1 x discussion paper 2000 words for Corporate Insolvency next monday

1 x study session (ok, cramming) for Ethics exam next wednesday

1 x research paper 4000 words for Corporate Insolvency 9th Feb

Yes, sure. No worries, as we say in Australand.

Hah! THS The Kardashians is on so.... maybe after that.

And the sun is out now, and I did mention that tan look I like? (obviously I use sunscreen, duh)

So... maybe after that.

Flights of fancy

Next stop, KOREA!

So apparently, Korean tv dramas are super fun to watch. I have never had the pleasure to acquaint myself with them, so I am not the one to ask, especially when I cannot even cope with tv dramas in languages I can speak. Shameful I know.

Anyhow, I am SO much more interested now that I hear about this tv drama BASED ON A COFFEE SHOP! Just look at FRIENDS.. right, right? Although, strictly that was a comedy series.. which I still adore.

So anywho, I started googling this Coffee Prince Cafe and c'est adorable! I SO want to go there now.

If only so that I get a coffee like this:

or... this:

...or this:

Mmmmmmm... yum yum!

And then there were two..

You probably already guessed, but the Duchess Tianbabes is going to be one of my bridesmaids.

I actually asked Duchess mid week whilst at work.. and had to wait an agonising three hours for a reply email (She is intern-ing at a scene straight out of Devil Wears Prada).

She replied back with the most loving email, and saying that she had already been drafting her bridesmaid's speech. I have never felt so relieved.. we always said we are to be each others' bridesmaids, but geography is such a worry. Especially for someone like me who worries so hard if there are not at least three contingency back up plans for Plan A. Except, Tian being bridesmaid was Plan A and I didn't have a Plan B let alone Plan C for that.

You've met her before, but, the Duchess always changes her hair, at this moment she is sporting the bowl cut which I so envy, but cannot pull off. She is so Audrey Hepburn out of Funny Face in that style. Here she is, pre-bowl cut:

Joy!

Meet my MOH (maid of honour)

Oh spank me if you must for using that cheesy acronym, but this is a Public Service Announcement.

Happy days, I have secured myself my baby-faced Sydney bestie Leanne to be my MOH.

It seemed to be the obvious choice given that barely two weeks into the engagement she was emailing me Bridal Expo information, and so SUPER supportive of the fact that despite not knowing when/where/how I was having a wedding/engagement party, I insisted on spending ALL MY FREE TIME looking for engagement party outfits. Instead of doing uni work. But let's not sweat that minor detail. And no, I have not yet found an outfit, but have instead found several adorable DVF dresses that are HTH (have to have). And the uni work is due this week and remains, undone. Oops, I DIA (did it again).

Oh look, I'm a teenage cheerleader with all the shorthand expressions. Fetch.

But anywho, this is my gorgeous gorgeous MOH. And not that anyone was counting, super photogenic (see photo) and I just adore how sweet she is to me. We talk about anything and everything and bitch about everything else. I love it. Yes she eats so slowly and it drives me insane when I'm on the clock, but any other time of day I LOVE it because we always have so much to talk and bitch about. I have never met someone who spends as much if not more on Victoria's Secret than me. Or someone who can always quote verbatim all current interest rates on every credit card available in Sydney.

And after this, we will be up to speed

1. I finally got my full license: On my last day of unemployment before the new job, instead of doing any homework, I chugged over to the registry and paid $37 to take the last test. Bombed out (i'm incredibly bad at touchscreen - i am just happy i can manage an ATM transaction so this is not surprising), and paid another $37 to retake the same damn test. Passed that, thank goodness, but was completely mortified about failing. Then I had to pay another $151 to actually get my full license. I still look hideous on the license (on my old license, a bouncer once looked at it and said 'this does you no justice'). I'm finally a grown up!
2. I passed all my exams from last semester apparently. I checked on my enrolment screen which said pass for Financial Analysis for Transaction Law, Corporate Law, and Evidence and Criminal Process. I don't technically know the marks, because I haven't paid an outstanding library fine (did I tell you about this? it's a long story, tell you about it later). But I found out that I can just see if I passed or not if I just wait abit longer and enrol for the next semester's subjects. Suits me just fine, since I don't have the cash on me right now anyways, and I don't want to know unless it's AT LEAST a credit.
3. since leaving my last job, I have not thrown up or had non-stop chest pains. funny, innit?
4. I think that is all I needed to tell you, and obviously, I am once again, on the hunt for a tan that will last through to the next summer. I look better as a tanned brunette. True story.

Dommynikki views:

I have always had a soft spot for anything Vince Vaughn, and I was overjoyed when Jen A dated him. Like, my two fave actors together? Joy. And then they drifted apart. Blast.

But anyways, this has been playing on cable and I just love this one comedian. And so delighted to see that on the day I have cupcakes to make for Leanne and Celina, and two presentations to draft for Monday, that instead I am getting numerous chances to practice my evil laugh watching clips like this.

The plan

So as part of our new year, B and I said we would commit to healthy eating and living.. in theory we would automatically lose some weight. You know, as we aren't getting any younger.. I'm 2010 - 1982 years old which is, like, 135 or something like that. Ouch.

Sigh. I remember when I turned 20 and was upset I would no longer be in my teens. Idiot, I should have known there are worse things. Like, no longer fitting into your Sass & Bides. Kids can be so dumb.

So, apparently, B used to have this like twenty pack blah blah blah. I say, let me know when it shows up.

I went through a phase of being so slim and toned, I was literally in a bikini all the time. And then I met B, and I lasted about a year, until I had to get a real job and it was goodbye 24hr gym/beach/swim sessions. Working in retail gave me the best legs, plus all that running around shopping as quickly as I could on my break did such a good thing to my butt.

Now I have to do lunges and squats to get anything happening. Ugh.

Where was I? Right, so we said we would eat healthy, drink less, exercise more. Nice and vague.

So how are we going?

Let's start with B (not that it is a competition, but if it was, I would want to be winning).

He is still my gym buddy and plays sports. good.

His work has signed his whole team up for bootcamp (ugh, I can't afford that but I don't like it anyway. It combines being yelled at and doing lunges and sprints. Yuck.) I'm like 65% happy that he is getting more exercise opportunities, but like 35% worried this may put him in the lead of our non-competition that I want to win.

He is still drinking coke like it's refreshing from time to time. Hah.

And piles on so much nutella on his sunday toast I worry it will dissolve before lift-off from the plate. Jams and spreads are for amateurs.

We went for Italian one saturday night, and I ordered a ton of salad to go with our pasta. All very yummy and nutritious etc etc. B then poured the oil from the garlic prawns onto his garlic bread... delicious I'm sure, but ??? It's like he thinks that sauce/condiments don't contain calories or have any fat content. I let him order desert since he is Mr Gelato Maniac. He ordered some chocolate sundae thing, and proceeded to chow down the cream next to the ice cream. I didn't have the heart to tell him that whipped cream is the reason why the average woman is size 14-16 in so many countries.

Oh dear.

Me?

Well, I said I would drink once a month, exercise as much as possible, and stop eating carbs at night. Sure.

I have since adjusted this to drink once a fortnight, exercise whenever I can, and eating as little carbs as possible at night. I think this is still fair, and then I'll adjust it once I get used to being slightly hungry all the time.

But on the plus, I had my first private pilates class on the reformer/allegro machine thing. I had my session on Thursday night, it is now Saturday, and my entire ribcage/abs hurt when I laugh/sneeze/cough/breathe. My thighs are screaming. My calves vomit when I walk. I LOVE it!

But so darn expensive. Not good, when, I have Leanne and Celly coming over today to the Casa for some Rose and some seafood and I have about $8 to whip up some salsa and salad...

So far we have made it to Day 23 of the new year without any huge hiccups.

So hungry.

Sigh.

My ass hurts.

Ouch.

The ring

i just am not one of those girls who has the patience to sit there and just take a bajillion photos of the rock (don't be fooled by the rocks that i got, i'm still jenny from the block, haha, sorry, been DYING to do that)... i do get distracted by how shiny it is like a magpie though.

anywho, this is almost what it looks like, the diamonds down the side on my ring are round brilliant cut. like this

B did such a good job, super proud of him. Although that doesn't seem necessary since he has been giving himself so many pats on the back mine hardly seem relevant.

Hi world, Happy New Year

so, what's new with you?

since we last chatted, my laptop died, and i apparently did not see the 'do not resuscitate' toetag it had snuck on itself. i had about twelve nervous breakdowns - all due to work, and how much i disliked it. i got a new job which starts, oh this wednesday, as a paralegal (how fancy!) and am not employed for the next two days (but nil sunshine to be seen). oh what else.. i got a MacBook (just the baby sized one in 13 inches as i am after all, temporarily unemployed and LITERALLY between jobs). hence why i am now back online, instead of struggling with my little ipod touch, which is adorable, but painstaking to use for msn with the Duchess.

ps i got engaged on New Year's. what's that? oh yes, the ring is fabulous. i love it. i keep checking it's there in case this is all an incredibly elaborate dream sequence and i am not in fact bethrothed with said humongous diamond ring. so far, so good. yay!

tell you more about it next time. i spy sunshine, off for a tan.

so... and how are you doing? what's new with you?