lesson of the day: fix that grossometer

i have issues with:

1. food breath
2. coffee breath
3. stale breath
4. alcoholic breath
5. bad breath
6. dirty ears (yuck)

obviously, people who know me know i have way more than just the 6 problems. BUT these are my TOP 6, out of my top 10, out of my top 100, out of my top 100000234...

#6 is by far the worst thing...it can strike you at anytime. You glance at the person next to you, the first thing you lay eyes on is the side of their head. Unless they are a fish, you'll be looking into their ear not their eye. What is worse than looking into a cavern of dirty ear?

Not much. Except:

Yesterday, I had the distinctly uncool task of helping a woman choose an earring and then WATCH as she attached it to one of the dirtiest DUSTIEST ear lobes I have ever had to lay eyes on to date. EVER.

She had dandruff too. I felt violated.

Please use a q-tip before you go jewellery shopping, visit the hairdresser, go to the supermarket, go out in public, before your partner comes home, anything. Always use a q-tip guys.

Nothing on teevee? Get out your q-tips.

Bored at work? Remember those q-tips? Why not? Use them.

Watching stock prices? E-baying? Don't have a kit-kat. HAVE A Q-TIP.

Reading this? I'mma say it one more time: Q-TIP. Try it.

Don't lemme catch you with dirt in your ear.

Jigga wants you to get dat durt off yo shoulder, Dommynikki wants it outta yo ear.

WIRD