
Monday, September 29, 2008
"it's a monet!"

i love happy endings
i wish that everything was easier, but i guess things need to be said before a fuse blows
today i have spent all morning and afternoon staring at the same 1400 words...
banking law is painful to write about. i have no idea what i'm rabbiting on about.. and yet i still have another 1100 to go!
AND with no more coffee... only instant. yuck.
so instead, i spent 45 out of 60minutes in the hour staring at rims for my volvo..
did i mention that a tyre blew? well, it blew... so now i'm getting rims...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
all dressed up and nowhere to go
when i say what i want i won't get it anyway.
i won't get it if i wait, and i won't get it if i ask for it right away.
and then i get told i'm wrong, and i'm never happy.
i'm not never happy, i'm always wrong.
i don't think i can be called spoilt when i don't get anything i want.
people who are spoilt get everything they ask for all the time.
and now it's sunday afternoon. i spent all morning waiting for nothing to happen.
i shouldn't be disappointed because i was expecting this anyway, but i'm crying anyway.
and then later, i will have to say sorry when i feel bad for crying.
i am at the bottom of the list. i don't feel like i am anyone's priority.
i'm not even my own priority.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Fave new tune
But I gotta stay true
My morals got me on my knees
I'm begging please stop playing games
I don't know what this is
But you've got me twitchin'
Like you knew you would
I don't know what you do
But you do it well
I'm under your spell
You got me begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me?
You got me begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me?
I said release me
Now you think that I
Will be something on the side
But you've got to understand
That I need a man
Who can take my hand
Yes I do
I don't know what this is
But you've got me twitchin'
Like you knew you would
I don't know what you do
But you do it well
I'm under your spell
You've got me begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me?
You've got me begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me?
I said you'd better release yeah yeah yeah
I'm begging you for mercy
Just why won't you release me
I'm begging you for mercy
You got me begging
You got me begging
You got me begging
Mercy, why won't you release me
I'm begging you for mercy
Why won't you release me?
You got me begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
Why wont you release me?
Yeah yeah
Break it down(Mercy)
Beggin' you for mercy
You've got me beggin'
Down on my knees
I said, you've got me beggin'
Beggin' you for mercy
'Mercy' by Duffy
i like a man in uniform... DAMIER uniform



Thursday, September 4, 2008
One week away and the place goes into meltdown mode
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
This is us
If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn’t feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I’d be wishing you were here
To be everything that I’d be looking for
I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed
So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you’ll love me
Love me like you’ll never see me again
Oh Oh Ohhhhh
How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it’s everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You’re beside me
I’m so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for
I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed
So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
(can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me
(see we don’t really know)
Touch me like this is the last time
(see everyday we never know)
Promise that you’ll love me
(I want you to promise me)
Love me like you’ll never see me again
(like you’ll never see me again)
Alicia Keys - Like You’ll Never See Me Again
Writer Alicia Keys and Kerry Brothers Jr.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Updates
- Back at uni... I started last week, but my brain malfunctioned and I kept reading the class schedule wrong so ended up missing half the classes
- Am now older, see last post. I'm okay about it. I understand these things happen, as in Time happens.
- After suddenly taking leave last week.. as in day off on Monday, went to work for three hours on Tuesday and then promptly had to go on leave until yesterday I am now back at work. I think my job was making me throw up on top of everything else on my mind. Like physically. NO JOKE. It was like all year most days was "one of those days". I spent more time that day being ill then actually doing anything..
- I didn't really love July 2008. It wasn't that fab overall.
I am now officially older.

yes... that is my age. 26. years. old.
He really is good at managing my temper and neurocies for the most part. And where he isn't, he does pay attention when I give feedback. And it was so hilarious when he came walking over with the cake and candles... a sudden draft (stupid sydney!) and the candles went out midway through the happy birthday song. Perfect comic timing. I loved it.


Well, I didn't cry... but I did wear black.
And as usual, I didn't take that many photos. Partly because my camera charger is in storage where it serves no purpose, and partly because I never can be bothered. Whether it is reverse vanity, in that on those occasions I thought I looked good, I look lousy in the photos and vice versa so I don't purposely take photos or simple absent-mindedness...
Anyway...
Food delish, at Balkan Restaurant on Oxford Street in Darlinghurst. No one actually knows what Balkan is. I did at one time but promoptly forgot. It's grilled handmade sausages (so freshly made you can see the imprints of the cooks' hands), seared meat, huge mounds of potato salads, piles of cabbage salad and green salads, fried calamari, grilled tiger prawns, fish, garlic bread, fettucine pasta, seafood tomato pastas and.... But so yummy, I wish I had more, but too busy yapping. Heh. Price? About $40 per head plus BYO... reasonable, and there was a serious amount of leftovers which sadly, did not get taken away to a good home (i.e. my fridge). Next time I will bring tupperware! heeheehee...
And surprise surprise.. after dinner, a quick drink around the corner (which actually took longer than expected as I waited 20minutes plus for a cosmopolitan) and I was tucked into bed, falling asleep to a video. To be fair I did spend all day at Uni, so there.
It was a good night, but I'm happy to just plod along with some pretense of normality now. I wish it was still my birthday month. To be fair, people accept my claims that I get the entire month of July... which I then extended into August due to the lousy first three weeks of July I had. But they do say denial must end at some time.
The friends that did come, and those who tried to but couldn't and messaged me frantically to apologise made it a really lovely evening in a lousy month. Am I wrong to sometimes wonder why they like me? Or even to wonder that they do like me? I do that. Maybe I am a fatalist. Tian knows what I am talking about. I don't wonder about you. Miss you Tianbabes, I wish you were there, and I know you wish so too bestie. I got the card the night before my birthday. Perfect timing as always. and Perfect choice as always.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
who says men are no use?!
yay!!
all we have to do is decide where we will drink
Rant #1
another saturday night with NO plans
what am i supposed to do for entertainment then?! everyone sane is o/s or attending birthday dinners.
ugh ugh ugh
*scowl*
stupid sydney with your shops that close at 5pm... i mean. that's just dumb.
great, i just can't wait. just myself and my multiple insane personalities which i may or may not inflict on some club. i just want to shop!
ugh.
this is my reward for relishing a rough day at work, without any complaint and actually looking forward to more hard work because i like the challenge AND not buying a fendi belt for $400:
*puke and scowl*
so childish, but can't help it.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
what is "one of those days"?
- where nothing goes your way?
- everything is just too much/too hard/too stupid/too wierd
- you can't get it right
- you just can't get it
- no one likes you
- everyone hates you
- you're wrong
- you're not wrong but you suck, so
- you may as well just be wrong
- everyone seems insane
- everyone seems stupid
- everyone seems to be annoying
- you wish it wasn't one of those days
- you feel like you are stuck in the episode of seinfeld where Newman was everywhere/everybody got thrown in jail/people popped out of nowhere demanding you buy them dinner and then only ordering soup to save the dinner for another time/the soup nazi hated you/you got blacklisted from a coffee shop
- you can't stop wishing that people would stop calling it "one of those days"
- you can't stop wishing the above especially since it seems like there are alot more than just ONE
- you can't stop wishing that you were somewhere else... like between the moon and new york city
- you wonder why no one says the phrase:
"just one of those days", when:
- everything is just dandy
- everything is just perfect
- you can't stop winning
- everything you touch turns to gold
- everything you do is brilliant
- people can't stop worshipping your excellency
- hair looks great
- you feel great
- the sea will part for you
What about halfway through the day when everything is just dandy/perfect/fantastic and then it turns into "one of those days"? Shouldn't there be a cutoff point? Like, if your luck hasn't turned by 3pm it's not going to. Surely someone somewhere should say, "No, no.. today is a good day... try again tomorrow - let her carry on happy."
No such stupid luck.
There is always something, anything, everything, anytime, anywhere, anyone, everyone, everywhere.
Does this constitute 'glass half full until someone knocks it over and smashes the glass to smithereens' mentality?
I wish I were caught between the moon and new york city sometimes...like now...
"I know it's crazy...
But it's true..."
(good song, that... actually, another good song is "rain, rain, go away. come again another day. surely 'rain' is code for whatever random occurence that has just triggered the sabotaging of a great sense of contentment and pleasure with the state of your universe as you know it)
P.S. I'm not miserable, and I'm not even grumpy. I am just very, very, very tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster. If I want to get taken for a ride, I'll go to an amusement park...
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Study Sessions: We love sounds
So as people have come to expect of me, I am on the bed with notes sprawled everywhere. For once, FRIENDS is not on in the background - and I have not checked eBay since last Thursday...
But that's because I just feel like chatting with Tianbabes but she isn't on MSN.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Catalogue Shopper

USD24 plus shipping...
Even though it is the dead of winter in Sydney, I really fancy the nautical theme. I try to resist, especially when the entire world is following that trend, but now that the stripes thing seems to have fallen off the radar I am stocking up again once more.
I love online shopping, it's so much fun. I used to have too much fun on Ebay, and it's been a while since then. Hopefully, my mother doesn't mistake my shipment and end up wearing them herself "accidentally" (yeah, right a likely story... as if one doesn't remember that they did not buy anything recently and post it to themselves)
CAN'T WAIT! It's better than Christmas!!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
diary reminder
